A frog telephoned the Psychic Hotline and was told, "You are going to meet
a beautiful young woman who will want to know everything about you."
The frog said, "That's great! Will I meet her at a party, or work?"
"No," said the psychic, "Next term -- in her biology class."
Q: Did you hear about the frog that assumed the princess wanted to go out with
A: He jumped to conclusions.
A man was walking through the woods and suddenly heard a voice near his
feet. He looked down and saw a frog.
"Pick me up!" the frog said. "Look, If you kiss me, I'll turn into a
beautiful Princess!" the frog pleaded.
The man smiled and put the frog in his pocket. The frog began squirming and said again, "Hey, I'm really not a frog, I'm a princess with lots of riches and power! If you kiss me, I'll fulfill your every fantasy!"
He smiled again and put the frog back in his pocket. More squirming. "Look! I'm not joking! WHY WON'T YOU BELIEVE ME!!?"
He replied, "I do believe you, but I'm an Engineer and I don't have time for a girlfriend. But a talking frog is COOL!"
Q: What does a frog put in his computer?
A: Hoppy disks.
A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her
name plate that the teller's name is Patricia Whack. So he says, "Ms. Whack,
I'd like to get a loan to buy a boat and go on a long vacation."
Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks how much he wants to borrow. The frog says $30,000. The teller asks his name and the frog says that his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's OK, he knows the bank manager.
Patty explains that $30,000 is a substantial amount of money and that he will need to secure some collateral against the loan. She asks if he has anything he can use as collateral. The frog says, "Sure. I have this," and produces a tiny pink porcelain elephant, about half an inch tall. Bright pink and perfectly formed.
Very confused, Patty explains that she'll have to consult with the manager and disappears into a back office. She finds the manager and says: "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000. And he wants to use this as collateral." She holds up the tiny pink elephant. "I mean, what the heck is this?"
The bank manager looks back at her and says: "It's a knick knack, Patty Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone"